Not two hearing impairments are exactly alike, and cannot be compared only by looking at hearing curves. Therefore I will try to explain how good or bad my hearing is experienced.

I am completely deaf in the right ear and has a very large hearing loss in the left ear. Generally, this means that I am almost completely deaf when I do not have my hearing aid. If you have normal hearing, and now think how it is or feels to be totally deaf, then I would compare it to a radio that is turned off; The radio is there but no sound comes out. In same manner the ear is there, but no sound comes through.

But my hearing loss is not uniform over all the notes because I can hear more bass and treble than the middle tones, which also includes speaking area. I can hear very loud sounds, such as doors slamming, loud machinery, and extremely loud music (at the disco or at a concert). But can practically not hear without hearing aid.

In the picture below is my latest hearing curve depicted (2015). There is only a curve for the left ear, because I am deaf on the right ear.

But what is most interesting is not how little I hear when I do not have hearing aids on, but what I hear in the awake hours when I have it on.

My biggest problem as such is not the reduction in volume. Mostly I can actually hear most sounds provided that they have enough volume. But I have a very large discrimination. In the photo above my discrimination is not shown, but I have a discrimination of more than 80% today.

A discrimination basically means that you have lost some of the ability to distinguish between small differences in sound frequencies (tones). Most often this will mean that you will find it difficult to distinguish exactly which letters people says in the many words which form a sentence (sounds becomes muddy together).

This means that if I do not have the ability to read lips then it is very hard for me to hear the actual words being said. Far down the road you can guess from the context of what was said, like boat or book, but because you always have to use extra energy to guess each word one is very easily tired.

Specifically, the consequence that I must have full focus on the one that says something to hear what is being said. It also means that I easily get tired of maintaining a high level of concentration in a conversation. In social contexts where there is more talking, the result is often that I only follow the conversation at times. When I get tired I sit most often in my own thoughts, and thinking further out from the past that was said while I listened. One can thus say that my hearing disability involves some form of social isolation that I can not really do anything about, for I have got to also make sure to have a surplus of energy – otherwise goes, I could just collapse from stress instead.

This means that you will have a natural need for breaks, and the easiest way is in the situation, as mentioned, not to listen and instead of “falling into his own thoughts.” Additionally, a discrimination means greatly to lose confidence in his own hearing. When you lose that trust you will be very easy restrained in any form of communication because you are in doubt about what you will contribute with the actually relevant to the current conversation, if you’re going to repeat something someone else has said or whether even answer a different question than what was asked.

For me, the problem mean that I am left behind in many situations, and that it requires a lot to communicate with new people, and not least the courage to take the initiative to meet new people. For example, as single on the way also be very hard to go over to that pretty girl and try to start a conversation, because what if I can not hear or understand what she is saying? In a way one can describe this problem as a negative spiral precisely because the hearing loss and distinguish the loss can be a barrier to creating new contacts with other people, as well as potential lovers, as in the latter case is hard to be spontaneous, flirty and rap in reply.

In the article “Skelnetabets importance of communication” by Kirsten E. Dehn and Susanne S. Nemholt becomes a discrimination explained very thoroughly. Here I can identify with all the consequences which the article mentions.

Situations where it is difficult to “keep up”

I will try to summarize where, I am experiencing difficulty hearing what is being said:

• Loose talk between multiple talking together. I have a need for people to speak clearly and directly to me. Are we more people in a conversation where talk is natural that people are looking at different people in conversation and not only on me. This basically means that people do not speak as clearly as if they were talking directly to me.

This is obviously a major problem in social relations in general. In these situations, I often need to relax mentally. Therefore, I am very often passive in the type of conversation situations, and it is therefore also very difficult to break into a conversation with relevant input, as I will need time to figure out what we talk about.

• Long distance to the person or talking. I always get up and go to him, so I can read lips and hear the sound closer. To listen and understand what people say in distance, is often impossible.
• I am very fond of music, but it’s almost impossible for me to hear what is sung in the music. I hear the words sung, but I just can not hear what is sung. I may as well hear a single word here and there, but it is far from enough to capture what the song is really about. Therefore, only songs I know and that it is possible to see the lyrics on, I can sing along to.
• Do I watch television or film, which is in Danish, it must be subtitled. I can if I exert myself a lot, well watch television without subtitles, but the sound must be turned up high and yet I still miss words – especially if there is background music or noise. I currently use most the subtitles and audio at a fairly normal level to the soundstage with the broadcasts.
• Foreign language can be a major challenge and that I’m not as used to it as I am to Danish. But nevertheless I am reasonably good at communicating in English. But when the language is not my native language, it is an absolute necessity to be able to lip-read the one that says something in English and to be able to repeat the words I do not catch. Thus it has always been impossible for me to talk on the phone in English or listening to an English newscast on television without subtitles. In addition, dialect / accent in English is often too difficult to handle.
• When in the city, it is very difficult to have conversations. I can with difficulty conduct conversations with 1-2 people in small pubs – provided that talk directly to me. Am I on the very noisy pubs / discos, so I stand completely by, and must manage with the little bit of lip reading, I can.
• Generally speaking, it is an advantage for me to be able to lip-read whose who says something. Therefore, it is of course a challenge for me to listen to audio books and other audio recordings where I do not have the opportunity to repeat what people said.
• The telephone conversations are with the downward discrimination gone almost impossible. Although a telephone conversation is two-way communication, where it is possible to get the other party to repeat passages or to speak more clearly, the problem is that the words are hard to distinguish, while lip-reading is not possible.

But what can I hear?

•  Generally speaking, I have a perception that could hear the presence of the vast majority of sounds. It is not volume that is my biggest problem (though it looks like on paper).
• I generally have very easy to hold conversations in private, provided that there is not too much background noise.